Resources & Recommendations
Resources That Helped Us
When we were in the middle of it, these were the books, podcasts, hotlines, and organizations that gave us clarity, courage, and hope.
Some of these resources helped us name what was happening. Some helped us survive it. We are sharing them with you because we wish someone had handed us this list when we were still inside it.
Crisis Resources
If you are in immediate danger or need urgent support, these resources are available 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. You do not have to wait. You do not have to have everything figured out. Help is available right now.
National Domestic Violence Hotline
Call or text, 24/7. Confidential support for anyone experiencing domestic violence or emotional abuse.
1-800-799-7233Crisis Text Line
Free, 24/7 crisis counseling via text message. Reach a trained crisis counselor from anywhere.
Text HOME to 741741
National Suicide Prevention Lifeline
Free, confidential support for people in distress. Available 24/7.
988SAMHSA Helpline
Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration. Free, confidential referrals and information.
1-800-662-4357Books That Changed Everything
These books helped Jessica and Rebecca understand what they were experiencing. They gave language to the pain, validation to the confusion, and practical steps toward healing. If you are ready to understand what happened to you, start here.
“Why Does He Do That?” by Lundy Bancroft
The definitive guide to understanding abusive minds and recognizing controlling behavior. This book helped countless women name what they could not previously articulate.
“The Body Keeps the Score” by Bessel van der Kolk
How trauma lives in the body and how to begin healing. A groundbreaking look at the physical impact of emotional wounds and the path to recovery.
“Psychopath Free” by Jackson MacKenzie
Understanding the aftermath of emotional manipulation and rebuilding your sense of self. A compassionate guide for those recovering from toxic relationships.
“Boundaries” by Henry Cloud and John Townsend
How to set healthy limits without guilt, rooted in faith. This book helped us understand that boundaries are not selfish. They are necessary.
“Codependent No More” by Melody Beattie
Breaking free from patterns that keep you stuck in unhealthy relationships. A classic that continues to help women reclaim their lives.
“It's Not You” by Sara Edmonds
Recognizing narcissistic abuse and reclaiming your reality. A newer resource that speaks directly to women questioning whether they are the problem.
“Healing from a Narcissistic Relationship: A Caretaker's Guide to Recovery, Empowerment and Transformation” by Margalis Fjelstad
A compassionate guide for caretakers who have poured themselves into a narcissistic partner and need help reclaiming their own life. Practical steps for recovery and empowerment.
“Boundaries” by Dr. Henry Cloud
A foundational guide to understanding what boundaries are, why we need them, and how to set them without guilt. Dr. Cloud's work has helped countless women rebuild their sense of safety.
“Healing from Hidden Abuse” by Shannon Thomas
A deep look at the invisible wounds of psychological abuse and the stages of healing. Shannon Thomas walks you through what recovery actually looks like, step by step.
“Daring Greatly” by Brené Brown
A courageous exploration of vulnerability, shame, and what it means to show up fully in our lives. This book helped us understand that vulnerability is not weakness, it is our greatest strength.
“Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage” by Natalie Hoffman
Written for Christian women trapped in confusing and painful marriages. Natalie Hoffman offers clarity, validation, and a path forward when you cannot tell if you are the problem.
“Necessary Endings” by Dr. Henry Cloud
Knowing when to end things that are no longer healthy or productive. Essential reading for anyone wrestling with the decision to walk away from a relationship that is destroying them.
“Feelings Buried Alive Never Die” by Karol Truman
A guide to identifying and releasing repressed emotions that keep us stuck. This book helped us understand that unprocessed feelings do not disappear, and that healing means facing them.
“Killing the Victim Before It Kills You” by Derek Watson
Moving from victim mindset to survivor identity. A powerful read for anyone ready to stop seeing themselves as broken and start stepping into their strength.
“Big Magic: Creative Living Beyond Fear” by Elizabeth Gilbert
An invitation to live a creative life on your own terms, free from the fear that holds you back. For women who are ready to rebuild not just their safety but their joy.
Podcasts We Recommend
Other podcasts that offered comfort and clarity during the hardest days. Sometimes hearing someone else say it out loud is the push you need to believe your own story.
Breaking Free from Narcissistic Abuse
Practical education on recognizing and recovering from narcissistic relationships. Each episode helps you understand the patterns and find your way out.
The Narcissist Apocalypse
Survivor stories and expert insights on emotional abuse. Raw, real, and deeply validating for anyone questioning their experience.
Whole Again by Jackson MacKenzie
Healing and rebuilding after toxic relationships. Gentle, practical, and grounded in real understanding of what recovery looks like.
Gaslit and Gorgeous
Our own podcast. Start with Episode 1 if you are just beginning to question your relationship. You will hear your story in these conversations.
Listen to the PodcastVideos and Talks
These talks and videos shaped our understanding of vulnerability, empathy, and emotional healing. Sometimes watching someone speak the words you cannot find is exactly what you need.
Brené Brown: The Power of Vulnerability (TED Talk)
A deeply moving talk about vulnerability, shame, and human connection. This became a guide for understanding how to show up authentically, even when it feels terrifying.
Watch on TED.comBrené Brown on Empathy vs Sympathy
A short, powerful animation that explains the difference between empathy and sympathy. This video changed how we show up for each other in hard moments.
Watch the AnimationMore from Brené Brown (Netflix Special & YouTube Talks)
Brené Brown's Netflix special "The Call to Courage" and her many YouTube talks explore daring greatly, vulnerability, and wholehearted living. Her books and videos together form a powerful toolkit for anyone learning to live bravely.
Search for "Brené Brown The Call to Courage" on Netflix or find her full library of talks on YouTube.
Organizations and Support
Helpful organizations and online communities that provide education, advocacy, and connection for women healing from abuse.
National Coalition Against Domestic Violence
A national organization dedicated to supporting survivors and ending domestic violence through education, policy, and advocacy.
ncadv.orgLove Is Respect
Focused on young people but helpful for anyone. Offers education, resources, and support for understanding healthy relationships.
loveisrespect.orgAfter Silence
Online support community for survivors of sexual and domestic violence. A safe, anonymous space to share and connect with others who understand.
aftersilence.orgKathy Parker
A powerful resource for women healing from narcissistic and emotionally abusive relationships. Kathy Parker offers deep insight into the dynamics of control and the path to reclaiming your life.
kathyparker.com.auOne Mom's Battle
A deeply supportive resource for mothers navigating co-parenting with a narcissistic or high-conflict ex. Practical advice, legal insights, and community for women fighting to protect their children.
onemomsbattle.comDr. Henry Cloud's Boundaries with Narcissists and BPD Peer Group
A Facebook support group grounded in Dr. Henry Cloud's boundary framework. A space to learn how to set and maintain healthy limits with people who struggle with narcissistic traits or borderline personality disorder.
Search for "Boundaries with Narcissists/BPD Peer Group" on Facebook to find and request to join.
Gaslit and Gorgeous Community
Our private Facebook group. A safe space for women who get it. No judgment. No fixing. Just women supporting women through the hard parts of healing.
Join the CommunityA Note From Us
These resources are not a replacement for professional help. But they are a starting point. If you are in crisis, please reach out to one of the hotlines above. If you are healing, pick up one of these books. If you need community, join our Facebook group. You do not have to figure this out alone.
We want to hear from you
If any of these resources have helped you, we would love to hear your story. Reach out and share what has made a difference for you.